Wednesday, April 24, 2013

26 And Holding

Growing up, I always looked forward to my birthday. I would randomly announce how many days until my birthday throughout the year. Usually starting on April 23rd, the day after my birthday. I always loved that it was a day all about me....and the presents weren't a bad addition either. This wasn't just as a kid, even as I got older I loved my birthday. In my mind it lasted a week, sometimes more. When I started going to the bars, it lasted the whole month. But, that was usually just to get free drinks. Every time we went out in the month of April I would tell guys it was my birthday. Not that I needed a ploy to get free drinks but it made helped.

Turning 25 was hard on me though. Probably because on my 25th birthday a friend said, "What's the worst thing about the day after you turn 25?" And then promptly answered himself, "you are officially closer to 30 than you are to 20". That stung. 30 seemed so old, even then. But, 25 was a good year. Then my 26th birthday rolled around and it was a great year. I decided then, that I wasn't getting any older. That I was going to hang on to my youth and forever be 26. It started off more as a joke. But, then it became a habit and lie I was going to carry on. So easy in fact, that I would have to stop myself from saying 26 when asked in a serious situation how old I was (like at doctors appointments). I would actually have to do the math. How old am I now.....2000 something minus 1980 something equals.....

With that came a lack of interest in my birthday. I still wanted to do something to "celebrate" but the day itself became just like every other day.

So, when this birthday rolled around, I really could've cared less. I didn't write it on the calender. I totally forgot about it the night before. I just expected it to be another day. Play with kids; clean; cook dinner; the usual. And it pretty much started out that way. I did have an appointment to get Adelyn's hearing checked. I wasn't worried about her hearing but at the same time, I was dreading the test. I couldn't imagine hearing something else was wrong with my baby girl. The good news is that her hearing is fine. She passed with flying colors but is asked to take the test again in 6 months if she's still not talking or talking much. That was the best present I could've asked for. Then, I got a package delivered to my front door. Steve bought me The Hunger Games movie and a Mother's Devotional Bible. Have I mentioned I love presents?! And these were good ones! Connor got picked up early so I was able to go with Lily to dance class (something I've not been able to do with my new job/schedule). Then my parents came over to visit for awhile. Then I had a few drinks with one of my best friends and the hubby and fell asleep snuggled up with him.

I am happy to say that it was a great 26th birthday and I look forward to many more.

Friday, April 19, 2013

From the mouth of babes

Last Friday on the way to a play date at the mall, Lily and I had the following conversation (I'll omit the parts leading up to this as they're inconsequential and would take waaay too much explaining):

Lily: Papa has a balcony at his house (apartment)
Me: No, Papa doesn't, you have to be up high to have a balcony
Lily: Well, Jesus is up real high in heaven. He has a balcony.
Me: *laughing* Yes, I bet Jesus does have a balcony.
Lily: I was with Jesus before you pushed me out of your belly?
Me: Yes, you were Bean, and then you came to live with us and when you die you'll go back to heaven to be with Jesus & God.
Lily: No, Mama. I won't be with them again. I won't die. (then matter of factly) Kids don't die, Mama.


This was a very humbling moment in my motherhood. This is the way it *should* be. Babies shouldn't die. Kids shouldn't die. No parent should ever have to bury their child regardless of that child's age. But, in that moment I was taken back to Columbine; to 9/11; to most recently (at that time) Sandy Hook. Of course, at 3, I don't feel it necessary to talk about these things with her. So, I somberly responded, "No, baby. Kids don't die".

Then, only a couple days later, the Boston Marathon Bombing happened. Lily's seen me watch the news. She asks what's happening and I explain that people were running and got hurt. That's all I can bring myself to explain to her. I can't burst this bubble she lives in right now. I can't take away that innocence that this world we live in is as horrible as it seems sometimes. And I wish I could live in that bubble with her. Where kids don't die. That they're not senselessly murdered, that they don't get terminal illnesses or die any other way. That they all grow to have babies & grandbabies & great grandbabies. No, I don't wish I lived in that bubble. I wish that was a reality.

I know that there will come a time when I have to explain the truth to Lily, just as so many had to do after the Sandy Hook incident. I pray that when that time comes, God gives me the strength and the words to help her understand the cruel world we can live in and to give her hope not fear. That, in the end, she still believes, as I do, that people as a whole are good people. That she chooses to change the world she lives in by loving others and doing good. Because as Romans 12:21 (NIV) says, "Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good".

Monday, April 1, 2013

Adelyn's Winter ONEderland!

I can't believe my baby girl turned 1. I thought Lily's first year went by fast, but this was even faster. Her first birthday party was amazing. It was winter ONEderland themed. Even though Spring was quickly approaching and it was a beautiful day outside, inside our house was decked to the max with snowflakes & penguins & balloons, oh my! The penguin beach balls are from Oriental Trading were used as both decorations and as favors for the kids.



We had a hot chocolate bar with homemade hot chocolate (thank you Pinterest & Mrs. Happy Homemaker for the recipe!), marshmallows, peppermint candy canes & whip cream. My second batch of stuffed pepper soup turned out delicious. And the piece de resistance? The most marvelous cake I've ever seen thanks to Nikki of Creative Confections with accompanying hot cocoa cupcakes with peppermint marshmallow frosting. The igloo on the top of the cake even lit up!





Adelyn looked gorgeous in her birthday princess outfit comprised of a tutu from Trish's Little Feet Boutique, a bow from Angelia's Boutique and leggings from My Little Legs.



The party itself was wonderful. We crammed more people in this house than it's supposed to have but no one seemed to mind. It's always so humbling to me to see how many people show up for these things. We had friends & family travel from near & far to spend this special day with us. I even had a friend take off work and I barely got to talk to her! It just means so much to me to have so many people love us, and love our daughter(s) that they would take the time out to celebrate.



As for an update on Adelyn. She is progressing well. She loves her OT & teacher. We've even started private OT with her Godmother & OTA extraordinaire. PT is another story. It inevitably begins & ends with tears. We keep pushing though and it's showing with all the progress she's making. It's like she just wants to stick her middle finger up in the air at anyone who says she can't do something. She is crawling on all 4s now. She's pulling up to stand on EVERYTHING. I don't remember Lily being a climber but Adelyn definitely will be. We're still a long ways off from walking and it's suspected that she's going to need foot/ankle braces because she stands on the insides of her feet. She'll be evaluated for that in the coming months. Hopefully if she gets those, it will expedite the walking phase.

She's still not talking but we're getting a lot more consonant sounds & babbling out of her. She's even began blowing raspberries so we know her mouth muscles are getting stronger. But, I would be lying if I said it doesn't hurt me that she doesn't call me mama. There's nothing I want more than to hear those words (with meaning) come out of her mouth. In the mean time, we're working on signing. She can sign fish, more, all done & milk when she wants to. Unfortunately, her sign for fish and all done are the same hand movement as when she's waving. As long as you take it in context it's not too hard to figure out.

Our OT wants her to be off all baby food in the next month. I've politely refused that. It's not that I'm not willing to work on it but she doesn't eat much in the way of regular food. She gets tired quickly when doing it because of the lack of muscles so she won't eat a lot in a sitting. It's not that I'm opposed to the idea. I am soooo sick of making baby food and would love to have her on all table food. But, she's already so tiny, the last thing I need is to have her fall off her growth curve because she doesn't eat enough to sustain her. Also, if she's not eating enough, I fear she won't be strong enough to work on all the things she needs to do. So, it's something that I plan to work on slowly. She already eats table food, it's just introducing it more & more as time goes on. I just don't think that 1 month is a reasonable time frame.

All and all, it's been an amazing year. She's grown physically and developmentally and that's all I can ask for. I can't wait to see what the next year brings for us!