Thursday, September 27, 2012

Thursday Throwback: R.I.P Big Jay

In my first blog I mentioned how I used to "blog" on Myspace  I don't even know if that's what it was called back then. But I wrote on there and published it for the world (aka my friend list) to see. And some of the stuff is good despite it's outlet. I know at some point I'm going to have to close my account and I don't want my words to be lost forever, so I've decided that every so often, I'll pull one of those posts over here.

Last week I went to a funeral at the same funeral home I went to when a friend of mine passed, which reminded me of this blog and that's why I've decided to share it first.

side note: I actually had to log into Myspace to get this. It only took me 3 or 4 tries to get my email/password right. Then I realized how much it changed and it took me a little bit to figure out how to even navigate over there in that ghost town. Full disclosure though? Myspace will always be my first love when it comes to social networking. So without further adieu.........



R.I.P BIG JAY (12/7/08)


For those of you who knew Jay, you knew that he didn't always make the best of decisions. Hell, his death was a tribute to the bad decisions he did make. But for those of you who really knew Jay, you knew that the measure of that man far exceeds any bad choice he's made.

I can't sit here and pretend that Jay was one of my best friends. I can't tell you how we used to hang out on a regular basis or how we were so close. I know that as much as it hurt me to wake up this morning and find out that he had passed, I know that it hurts so many of you out there much more. I know that some of you are feeling this loss more than I ever will.

What I can tell you is that I did consider Jay a friend. And it wasn't that long ago that I spent quite a bit of time with him. I met Jay about 2 summers ago at my uncle's cottage when he came up with his brother, Roger, who I had known for some time. That weekend I got to really get to know what kind of person Jay was over hours of tippy-cup, "I never...", tubing, bonfires and s'mores making. The problem is, when you mix alcohol and that many people, drama is BOUND to unfold. And this time, I was in the center of it. After blowing up at my then boyfriend, Steve, I stormed off and sat crying on my uncle's pontoon boat. Jay, being the guy that he is, sat out on the boat with me until the sun came up just talking to me. He talked to me about my relationship with Steve. He talked to me about his past. He calmed me down and was there for me. This guy, whom I just met, cared enough about me as a person to sit up, calm me down and just talk to me. Although I hadn't had much of an opinion of him prior to this (as we really didn't know each other), my opinion of him was forever changed in that moment. Jay and I continued to see each other throughout that summer and the following few years. He was always my arch nemesis when it came to tippy cup. We were constantly vying for the title of "tippy cup champ" and trash talking each other over a plastic cup. Jay even showed up at our engagement party and of course, was the life of the party. He was supposed to be invited to the wedding, alas, we had to cut him from the invite list (amongst MANY others) when we approached and surpassed the 300 person marker. Not to mention any of the many other times that I was able to hang out with him.

In the end, I will remember Jay for all the good things he brought to my life, as well as so many others. I will not remember him for the demons he constantly had to fight or the weakness he succumbed to. To me, Jay will always be the kind-hearted man that I met that summer at my uncle's. I urge all of you to find a good memory of him and hold on to it. And if you feel up to it, please feel free to share it here. He will never leave us if we always carry him in our memories and in our hearts.


JASON ERIK OXIE
2/20/85 to 12/14/08

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