Friday, December 21, 2012

Oh Em Gee, Lily's Three!

In all the commotion of Adelyn's appointments and the holidays I sort of skipped Lily's 3rd birthday. Well, I didn't skip it in real life, but I didn't blog about it. So here it is. The month and a half late for her birthday but a few days early for Christmas, Christmas edition.

I can't believe that it's been 3 years since I gave birth to her. I know it's cliche but time really does fly. She's changed into such a little person. Her vocabulary is ridiculous. It changes so much that I often can't tell what she's saying because I don't know it to be in her repertoire. She does a good job of helping me figure it out. Just today I didn't know she was saying squirrel (especially in the context of talking about the snow "rocks" (balls) she made). She she said acorns, which was clear as day and then brought it back around with "you know...the things that eat acorns". And she's ooooh so funny. There's not a day that goes by that she doesn't crack me up with something she says, does or faces she makes. I know everything thinks their kid is amazing. But, I'm pretty sure Lily takes the cake.

She loves to sing. Her favorite songs to sing of late are "Santa Baby", "Jingle Bells", "We Are Never Getting Back Together" and "Build Me Up, Buttercup". She's definitely eclectic, like her mama. She also makes up songs. The other day she sang a song to Steve about the day he was born (this was after praying that he'd marry her). I also caught her singing "Santa came to my house when I was a baby. I was sleeping. I wore a pretty beautiful dress". When I asked her what she was singing she very sarcastically said "a song about when I was a baby and Santa came". (duh mom). She also looooves to dance. She's always dancing around the house doing moves that she says she learns in dance class. For the record, I go to and watch every dance class she's gone to and I've never seen the moves she does. That's okay though, as long as she's not getting her dance moves from Steve or I - for 2 completely different reasons. ;) She loves dance class. Although, not unlike me, she tends to go into her own little world and wander off. As long as she's having fun, it's totally worth it though.

Her birthday was a HUGE success. On the actual day of her birthday we took her to Chuck E. Cheese and had a great time. Then the following weekend we had her party at Jungle Java (think McDonalds Play Place on steroids). She spent the afternoon playing with all of her cousins and 2 of her friends. Then we came back to our house for dinner, cake & presents. That girl got soooo spoiled. She is definitely loved by so many people. We are blessed to have the friends & family we do. That's for sure.

This year she's very into Christmas. She's learning the Santa aspect but also learning about the true meaning of Christmas and the story of Baby Jesus' birth. We have the incredibly loved & hated Elf on the Shelf, which she's named Emma. She's very excited to go look for Emma every morning and seems to be happier when she's just hanging out somewhere than when she's getting into mischief. Emma riding Rudolph is a win while Emma crepe papering her door is a definite fail. She really gets the "don't touch Emma" thing too. She's almost paranoid about anyone touching her. Which surprises me. We've gone to see Santa several times at several different places and her list just keeps getting longer each time we see him. She's asked for a doll house, a small camera, a barbie, a "drinkey" baby (a baby that drinks from a bottle, I told her we already have one of those in the form of her sister), and a ball she can bounce in the house (there's no such thing). I have it on good authority she's getting a doll house and more accessories than she'll know what to do with. I'm certain that even if she doesn't get everything on her list, she'll get lots that ISN'T on her list and will be more than happy. Of course, she'd be happy pretty much no matter what. I told you my kid is amazing.

Since I'm such an over-sharenting, picture posting fool. Of course I'm going to close with pics of Lily from the past 3 years. And since this is my Christmas Edition, it only seems fitting that I use pictures of her with Santa each year.

Just a few weeks old. I remember waiting in line for this picture like it was yesterday. 

1 year old and not happy with Santa at all

2 years old and still doesn't like him. But sitting on his lap was worth it for the angel bear

3 years old & loooves Santa. 

In the event that I don't post before then, I would like to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! (also, HAPPY HANUKKAH, KWANZA, WINTER SOLSTICE, FESTIVUS, FRIDAY, whatever it is you celebrate! May your days be Merry & Bright!)

Friday, November 30, 2012

Perfectly Adelyn

When you deliver your baby and they hand her (I'm going to use she/her because I have girls, feel free to substitute he/him as you read this) and you count her ten little fingers and ten little toes and look into her beautiful eyes you can't help but think "she's perfect. I made a perfect little human being". Or at least I did.

Adelyn smiled "early" and laughed "early" and is always so happy. She couldn't get more perfect. Then, around 4 months, I thought, "my perfect little human isn't rolling over. That's okay, her sister didn't either. All kids develop differently. My girls are just content being on their tummies & backs". All was still right with the world. I did increase tummy time in hopes that she would figure it out. A month or 2 passed and I started to notice that not only was she not rolling over or sitting on her own, she wasn't putting any weight on her arms. It was then I started to worry about her muscle development. I talked to her doctor at her 6 month well baby check up. He didn't seem too concerned but did mention if she didn't start doing these things in the next month to call early on (Michigan's version of early intervention). I tripled tummy time, which was just fine for my perfectly happy baby. I helped her roll over. I rolled across the floor to show her. Lily rolled around the floor like a mad woman. She started rolling from back to belly in order to reach things. Although not intentionally rolling, at least it was progress. Then I bought her a mirror to look at herself while doing tummy time and *boom* she was pushing up, even just a little bit, on her arms. Then she was sitting on her own - not even tripod style. BINGO! We're getting somewhere and she'll be rolling and putting weight on her arms in no time. There will be no need for early intervention. There will be no need for the little worrying I was doing. My child is perfect. I told you so! 

But her 7 month birthday came & went and she remained stagnant. So I called 1-800-EarlyOn and gave them my information. They said it would be TWO WEEKS before someone would call me back to schedule Adelyn's evaluation. Two weeks is a long time! At first I was a little irritated at the situation. Then I thought, well, by the end of the 2 weeks she'll probably be rolling and I'll just tell them I don't need them. Easy Peasy. Two weeks is a good thing. Not a bad one. Two weeks passed and we still hadn't gotten any progression out of her. Early On called and scheduled her visit for 4 weeks later. I gave myself the same pep talk about the 4 week wait. It was just giving us more time to master her skills. 

In the meantime, my friends who have children the same age were posting videos of their kiddos rolling over, crawling, and even pulling up on things! While a part of me was so happy to see them going through those stages (especially the first time moms), another part of me was very sad inside. I have Lily and I take care of another preschooler and a toddler. So, in all honesty, I am in no hurry to have another mobile child in this house. But, seeing other kids do it made me feel bad that Adelyn wasn't. It made me feel like less of a parent. What was I doing wrong that my perfect child wasn't completing tasks that were "normal" for her age? Initially I tried to remind myself that Adelyn was early - by 3-5 weeks depending on how you looked at it. That could make a difference. But at 7 months old, I didn't think it would mean she was *so* far behind. 

The next 4 weeks didn't bring much in the way of progress and passed ever so slowly. Today was finally our evaluation. Initially we went into the eval room and I sat Adelyn down and the physical therapist started to explain the criteria. Twenty percent deficit would mean we would qualify for group play dates/classes. Forty percent would qualify us for 1 on 1 PT. But the therapist said based on her sitting ability she wasn't sure we'd meet either criteria. Then the eval began and I realized all the things she *doesn't* do. She doesn't bring her arms across her midline; meaning she doesn't reach her right arm to her left side or vice versa. She doesn't really play with her feet unless I've already lifted them for her (i.e. while playing with her or changing her diaper). They physically examined her and asked me a lot of questions. Does she say a lot of consonants? Other than not consistently. Does she mimic sounds or coughs? She will squawk if you squawk at her. Does she point? Use pincer (thumb & forefinger) grasp? Wait?! Where are you going with these questions? I brought her in because of her physical issues. Are you saying she's behind in other areas too? I felt my confidence sink. Could I be failing as a mother?

By the time the evaluation ended (almost 2 hours later) it was clear that my perfect child was behind in a lot of areas. Most significantly in her gross motor skills and muscle development. Her core and arm muscles are very weak. She's at a 3 month old level in those areas. Her communication skills are that of a 5 month old. Her emotional/social skills are at a 6 month old level. I'm not sure what that even means to be honest. Her social and emotional skills seem pretty "normal" to me. Her self help level is 8 months and her cognitive level is 9 months (she's a genius I tell you!). I wanted to cry. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Where did I go wrong with my perfect baby? I asked. I *had* to ask! "Is there something I could've done different? Done better. To help with her issues. To develop her muscles the way they should have." The answer was no. In fact they said the opposite. That I had done the best things I could've done for her. If she hadn't gotten all the tummy time she would be worse off. Then we discussed treatment. She'll be going to physical therapy as well as having occupational therapy and a "teacher" come out to work with her weekly.

I still left the appointment feeling down. But, in my normal fashion, I allowed myself to wallow in my own pity for only a moment. Then I thought to myself, this isn't serious. It's not like we were told she has a permanent disability or cancer. There are so many parents out there going through *so* much worse. This was just a stepping stone to get her where she needs to be. My perfect baby isn't any less perfect because she's behind (nor would she be any less perfect with a disability or illness). She's perfectly her. She's perfectly Adelyn and nothing will ever change that. 

Friday, November 9, 2012

Thanksgiving Is Coming!!! Thanksgiving Is Coming!!!

Ahhhh. Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday. I love Thanksgiving even more than I love my birthday. And if you know me, you know I re-he-he-he-allly (said in my best Dr. Cox impression) love my birthday. Well, I did until I hit 26 and stopped having birthdays. But I digress.

There are oh so many reasons why Thanksgiving is the best holiday that ever was starting with the food. I am fortunate enough to go to 2 houses each Thanksgiving. At first I thought this was a detriment to my holiday. I love my families cooking (more on that later), how could I possibly eat at someone else's house and use up precious stomach space on some else's cooking. Cooking, that by most standards I'm sure is great, but by my standards can only be considered sub-par. Then I had my first Thanksgiving with the G. Family. They have honey baked ham. I love honey baked ham. I've heard that this is a newer addition to the menu, as I asked Steve prior to my first time there if they were going to have it. He then asked his mom, who usually didn't have it but decided to on my account. And so the tradition was started. In addition to the ham, Steve's mom makes As the old saying goes, cheesy potatoes are like sex, even when they're bad, they're good. But Steve's mom has cornered the market on cheesy potatoes. I don't know what she does differently. But they are delicious and a staple at the G family house for Thanksgiving. I also have little tastes of everything else and it definitely is not the sub-par food I initially described. Then we go to my house and the pure gluttony begins. I usually change my pants in preparation for the food I'm about to consume. I did this before Joey Tribbiani made it cool on Friends. There are more small amounts of turkey & mashed potatoes and any other sides that may be offered that year. But my plate is generally toppling over with mounds of stuffing. You've never had stuffing until you've had the stuffing that my family makes. It's like a little slice of carb heaven. Next to the stuffing is a smaller but almost equally delicious green bean casserole. Green beans are veggies! This can't be bad for you! It certainly offsets the stuffing I eat.

The other *big* reason why I love Thanksgiving is because it's about family. It's the only holiday that my family gets together without the premise that gifts will be given (unless you count stuffing as a gift, then I'm putting that on my Christmas & birthday list this year!). Whether it's time with my in laws or time with my side of the family. It's still time well spent. Sitting around a table, eating good food, telling funny stories, eating & laughing until it hurts. Some of my most cherished childhood memories were Thanksgivings at my Grandma Pat's house. There were tables set up everywhere. Kids running a muck. Adults socializing as only that side of the family knew how.

Christmas was similar, ranking only slightly lower than Thanksgiving in my minds eye. Christmas obviously has heavy religious value. As a Christian, I recognize the true meaning of the holiday and it weighs heavily on me. I love Christmas for the food & the family & even the gift giving. But the gift giving causes so much stress both financially & mentally. Thanksgiving is just about food, family & giving thanks. It's not really marketable. Which is why things have changed so much in recent years. Thanksgiving has become overlooked & under-appreciated by so many. Now we have Christmas music being played on the radio & decorations being sold in the stores before Halloween stuff is even put away. It makes me sad that my favorite holiday is dismissed so quickly. So that's why I wrote this today. To tell Christmas to hold it's darn horses and let us enjoy the month of November and the most happ-happiest holiday of all!

***Disclaimer: This picture was shared on FB. I own no rights to it, if copyright has been infringed I will take it down immediately or give the proper credit.***

Monday, October 22, 2012

Here I Am, Stuck In The Middle With You

Lily is coming up to her birthday and smoothly transitioning from the "terrible twos" to "treacherous threes". While she can be funny and amazing and smart she is also often sassy, bossy and hard to handle.

She seems in a constant battle of being a big kid and a baby. I'm sure this is made worse by 1) having a baby sister and 2) having a 15(ish) month old around 3 days a week. She wants to brush her own teeth, wipe when she goes potty, pick out her own clothes. But at the same time she has started talking baby gibberish to me, has epic tantrums when she doesn't get her way, is constantly putting her hands (and pretty much anything else) in her mouth. She wants to do everything on her own and cries when she can't; whether because I won't allow her or limited by her own capabilities.

You want to know the truth? I feel the same way as she does. I, too, am stuck in a battle of her being a big kid & a baby. I still do things I did for her as a baby like rocking her & singing to her (things I don't mind doing no matter how big she gets) and expectations I have for her as a big girl; knowing how to act in certain situations, eating properly, not having to be asked a lot of times to do things, etc. I find myself getting frustrated with her easily when she doesn't adhere to my ideas or meet my expectations. I often find myself reminding myself that she's not a big kid.

But she's not really a baby either. And I'm not sure where that leaves us. I guess we have another 6-12 months to figure it out. I read somewhere (FB? Babycenter? Some random blog? I don't know. I should write this stuff down) that this time is pivotal in a child's life. That while we go through this battle of being 2 & 3 years old we're often blinded to all the changes our toddlers are making. We may see the physical changes, the emotional & mental changes but what we miss is big. Like REALLY big. We miss our toddlers changing into the big kids we often expect them to act like. We miss them leaving babyhood behind. Because once you're on the other side of those terrible twos & treacherous threes you're left with a preschooler standing in front of you. An honest to goodness big kid. And there's no going back.

So for now, I'll try to appreciate the baby-ish things Lily does. I'll try to remember that in a moment not too far from now she won't need me to help her or rock her or even ask her to do things over and over again (or at least I can dream that one ~_^). In the not so distant future she will be the big girl that lives up to the expectations so for now, I'll try to be grateful that she's still my little girl. Not that she won't drive me crazy sometimes. But I'll remind myself that I'm going to miss this. Even the hard times. I'm going to miss my baby being my baby.

Monday, October 8, 2012

May The Lord Bless You And Keep You, Adelyn Rose

Yesterday we had Adelyn baptized. It was a big day in her little life full of family who loves her and lacking in naps. The day turned out beautifully. We regretfully had to cut our guest list but in the end I feel like we made the right decision. The house wasn't overwhelmed with people and we were allowed a more intimate affair. Everyone got their chance holding & playing with Adelyn and I even got a chance to sit down, eat and socialize a little bit. I feel that Lily's baptism, even though wonderful, turned more into a social gathering and I lost sight of what the celebration was about. I feel it was greatly improved this time around.

After the ceremony, we headed back to our house for a chili bar that included my homemade chili, nachos & cheese, hot dogs and all the fixin's (cheese, sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes, onion, etc). It turned out very well! I was surprised how much people ate! We went through 2 packages of hot dogs, 2 bags of nacho chips and almost an entire crock pot of chili! People seemed very satisfied with lunch which makes me happy. I've been wanting to do a chili bar for awhile and yesterday was the perfect event and the perfect Fall day for one.

Part of Adelyn's baptism involved writing her a letter that we then read to her on stage. I did the writing and Steve did the reading. It was very hard for me to write this letter as I kept thinking about how to make it similar to Lily's. In Lily's we talked about my fertility and pregnancy problems and how Lily was a miracle baby straight from heaven into our arms. Because those issues remained the same, I thought I would write a similar letter to Adelyn. I tried and tried and tried. But it all I kept saying I wanted the same but different for Adelyn's letter. But then one night, just a few days before the letter was due, I prayed and asked for guidance in writing it. I prayed that God help me write what was in my heart. And then it came to me. The same but different isn't the right way to go. Adelyn is a different child and deserves a different letter despite the previously mentioned similarities. From there on out, it was relatively easy. The following is that letter:

Dear Adelyn,

As we look back on the past 6.5 months, we feel so blessed that God has entrusted us with such an amazing gift. He loaned you to us to help raise and mold into the person he envisioned you being. Even though you’re just a baby, that person is already shining through. You are sweet and kind and loving. You amaze us with your willingness to share your love with others whether it is by a smile, open mouth kiss, a coo or your unending want to snuggle. You touch the lives of so many people; family, friends, neighbors and even people on the street with your happiness & innocence.

Just like us, God has loved you before you were even born. But while we have hopes and aspirations for who you will be, He has a plan. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
There is no doubt that our Lord is going to use the light that already emanates from inside you to do something extraordinary. You can do so much and be so great as long as you follow the road that God has paved for you. Always listen to Him and let Him guide you along your pathway in this life. It won’t be easy as you get older and we all falter at times but remember that this family as well as God are always here for you to help you find your way back.

So it is on this day, that we recognize the gift our Lord has bestowed on us. We show our gratitude and acknowledge the responsibility that rests in our hands. Most of all, we start the journey with you that the Lord planned before you were even born. We know that one day you’ll have to make the choice to and grow on your own but we will pray that we have given you a strong enough root system to do so – roots that start here on your baptism.  Roots that not only come from us but from your God Parents, Rod & Sara as well as all of your family.

Adelyn, today, wearing a dress made from your mother’s wedding gown, which your sister was also baptized in as a symbol of the love you come from, we return you to the Lord and ask that he blesses you. And we ask that he have his hand in your life as well as this family so that we may lead you down a path that is blessed with love, grace and an eternal relationship with God

Mama & Dada

 “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. "

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Thursday Throwback: R.I.P Big Jay

In my first blog I mentioned how I used to "blog" on Myspace  I don't even know if that's what it was called back then. But I wrote on there and published it for the world (aka my friend list) to see. And some of the stuff is good despite it's outlet. I know at some point I'm going to have to close my account and I don't want my words to be lost forever, so I've decided that every so often, I'll pull one of those posts over here.

Last week I went to a funeral at the same funeral home I went to when a friend of mine passed, which reminded me of this blog and that's why I've decided to share it first.

side note: I actually had to log into Myspace to get this. It only took me 3 or 4 tries to get my email/password right. Then I realized how much it changed and it took me a little bit to figure out how to even navigate over there in that ghost town. Full disclosure though? Myspace will always be my first love when it comes to social networking. So without further adieu.........

R.I.P BIG JAY (12/7/08)

For those of you who knew Jay, you knew that he didn't always make the best of decisions. Hell, his death was a tribute to the bad decisions he did make. But for those of you who really knew Jay, you knew that the measure of that man far exceeds any bad choice he's made.

I can't sit here and pretend that Jay was one of my best friends. I can't tell you how we used to hang out on a regular basis or how we were so close. I know that as much as it hurt me to wake up this morning and find out that he had passed, I know that it hurts so many of you out there much more. I know that some of you are feeling this loss more than I ever will.

What I can tell you is that I did consider Jay a friend. And it wasn't that long ago that I spent quite a bit of time with him. I met Jay about 2 summers ago at my uncle's cottage when he came up with his brother, Roger, who I had known for some time. That weekend I got to really get to know what kind of person Jay was over hours of tippy-cup, "I never...", tubing, bonfires and s'mores making. The problem is, when you mix alcohol and that many people, drama is BOUND to unfold. And this time, I was in the center of it. After blowing up at my then boyfriend, Steve, I stormed off and sat crying on my uncle's pontoon boat. Jay, being the guy that he is, sat out on the boat with me until the sun came up just talking to me. He talked to me about my relationship with Steve. He talked to me about his past. He calmed me down and was there for me. This guy, whom I just met, cared enough about me as a person to sit up, calm me down and just talk to me. Although I hadn't had much of an opinion of him prior to this (as we really didn't know each other), my opinion of him was forever changed in that moment. Jay and I continued to see each other throughout that summer and the following few years. He was always my arch nemesis when it came to tippy cup. We were constantly vying for the title of "tippy cup champ" and trash talking each other over a plastic cup. Jay even showed up at our engagement party and of course, was the life of the party. He was supposed to be invited to the wedding, alas, we had to cut him from the invite list (amongst MANY others) when we approached and surpassed the 300 person marker. Not to mention any of the many other times that I was able to hang out with him.

In the end, I will remember Jay for all the good things he brought to my life, as well as so many others. I will not remember him for the demons he constantly had to fight or the weakness he succumbed to. To me, Jay will always be the kind-hearted man that I met that summer at my uncle's. I urge all of you to find a good memory of him and hold on to it. And if you feel up to it, please feel free to share it here. He will never leave us if we always carry him in our memories and in our hearts.

2/20/85 to 12/14/08

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Happy 6 Month Birthday, Adelyn Rose!!!

Okay, so Adelyn's birthday was actually on the 12th. Which, makes this blog over a week late. But, it's not my fault. My dog ate my blog. Well, not my dog really. Internet explorer did though. I tried & tried to get on last week but I just couldn't do it. It would let me read mine & other people's posts but wouldn't let me actually post a blog. Finally I got smart and read the error message that popped up. Apparently is not compatible with internet explorer. So I had to come out of what must be the dark ages of the interwebs and get google chrome. At least it's not too bad over here.

Sooooooooo, anywho...... Last week my baby girl turned 6 months old. I can't believe it. We've already made it half a year. And I'm sure the other half will go even faster. Especially with all the holiday ruckus.  Even though we've made it this far. She still seems like such a baby to me. Maybe it's because I have Lily and the 2 kids I nanny for. Or maybe it's because she's still not rolling over, unless it's to get a toy and she's still not sitting up. I give her plenty of opportunity to do both but to no avail. During tummy time she's happy to just lay there and talk to her toys. If I try to move her toys to entice the rolling from belly to back she just talks to her hands or the blanket or whatever will "listen". If I try to get her to sit, she just flops one way or another. She's finally getting better in the Bumbo so I'm hoping those muscles are strengthening.

She's still one of the happiest babies I've ever met. She's always quick to smile and giggle. She's mostly a great sleeper and has happily eaten everything we've tried with the exception of avocado.

She truly is amazing and I've loved watching her grow. Each month, starting at 2 months, I've taken her picture next to a lamb/blanket that has her name on it. The "lovey" came from Steve's work. Thanks EQ! =)  Here are those pictures in sequential order so that we can all see the progression she's made from a newborn to infant and now to baby. I've added a few that didn't follow suit in order to see her before 2 months.

 My wittle lucky charm. This was taken the day we left the hospital, make her 1 day old. 

Easter pics taken when she was almost a month old. 

The rest of these are pretty self explanatory. 

All together now as a whole...AWWWWWWW! 

Anyone who knows me knows that I looooove to plan a party. So, don't you worry. Plans for her 1st birthday are already in the works! Well, the works in my brain and on Pinterest at least.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Good Mom

I'm going to start a series of "bad mommy confessions", things that I do or don't do that makes me a less than exemplary mom & wife. But, I want to start with this first.

Recently I have several people whom I look up to tell me that I'm a good mom. I can't express how good that makes me feel. It's always good to hear compliments but to hear that people think I'm a good mom is the highest one I could be paid.

I don't look at myself as a great mother.  I'm just a mom who does her best with what she knows & feels in her heart. As I feel so many other moms do. It's so hard when you hold your baby and know that as a mother (or father) what you do will impact this persons life forever. You hold a life in your hands that is yours to mold and shape, at the very least, a decent member of society. But our children can be so much more than that. And it's our job to help them to that extraordinary position. Which is such a HUGE responsibility. And as a mother, I second guess every choice I make. Is this the right choice not for me, but for my child as an individual. Can I set aside my inherently selfish ways to make the best decision for this child? It's something I struggle with constantly. So, when people tell me I'm a good mother, I appreciate it so much. I recall those compliments when I'm having a day where nothing I do feels right or good enough. On the days that I'm scraping by and feeling like I'm failing, I remember that people I admire think that I'm not failing, I'm not just getting by, I'm succeeding. At least in the grand scheme of things.

So, I want to thank everyone who has told me that. You may not have known the weight of the words when you said them, but I carry that compliment in my heart.

With that, I'd like to pass on the joyous feeling to some of the people I know who don't feel like the greatest moms. I won't mention names but they are friends who feel like nothing they do is right. That there really is no right answer. Being a mom has come natural to me. It made it easier since I was in such a good place in life. Some of my mom friends it hasn't come natural to. And some of those people didn't have baby(ies) under the best circumstances. But you ladies still do the best you can. You give all that you can give. You fight for your baby(ies) to have the best life possible even if it's not everything you want to give them. And that, my friends, makes YOU a good mom.

Steve once told me that being a good mom isn't about the easy times. Almost any woman, when given a happy baby can be a good or even great mom. Feed them, play with them, put them to bed. Easy peasy. Being a good mom is all the things you do inbetween. The middle of the night feedings when you can barely open your eyes. Going to work when your heart breaks because you're leaving your child to provide the best life for your child. Holding a baby for hours on end because s/he is colicky and only stops when you hold him/her. And sometimes doesn't even stop then! Fighting tooth and nail for the best interests of your child when all you want to do is give up & give in. Being at your wits end with a toddler who is emotional and acting out. Sitting up with a child who is sick or just had a bad dream. And at some point, letting your child go & grow. Accepting that they're becoming an adult and letting them make their own mistakes and way. The good moments are important, but those are the moments that great mothers are made.

Ladies, the biggest thing we have to remember is that even if you don't do it all right all the time, you are still a good mother.

Monday, August 20, 2012

All Is Well

It's a little late, but as promised. Here's my Monday post. Since it's been so long, I figured I'd start with an update on my life. I could go on & on & on but I'll try to keep it relatively short.

Things have been really good here in the G household. We hit a bump when I lost my nanny job right after Adelyn was born. It stung to lose someone that I cared so much for and spent so much time with but I knew God had bigger things in store for me. I quickly picked up a little girl who is just a few days older than Lily. She's just as sweet as can be. Lily and her get along wonderfully. I wish I could have her full time but I must share with her grandparents. Not that I can blame them, I don't know anyone who doesn't want to be around her. So, we get the pleasure of having her 2 days a week. Then a few weeks ago, a little boy who just turned 1 started. He's sweet, kind and oh so lovable. But, having a 1 year old is a lot of work! I forgot how much! He's still a joy to have around and I look forward to watching him grow in the years to come.

I have also found a love in photography. I've always been a picture whore. Even dating back to stopping on my way out with friends to buy disposable cameras. But recently I've found that I really enjoy taking pictures and then editing them. For not having taken any classes, I think I'm pretty good at it. Other people must too since I've been taking pictures for friends & family. I've done newborn shoots, 1 year old shoots and even weddings! I also do monthly pictures of Adelyn. I've don't claim to be a professional and would like to take classes in both photography and photoshop to get better. More on all that later though.
Lily is great. She's getting so big! All the 3T clothes I bought her at the beginning of summer are getting small on her. So, at not even 3, she's starting to wear 4T clothes. Someone is going to take after their daddy! She's smart and oh so funny! She cracks me up on a regular basis for the things she comes up with. She's potty trained during the day and we're working on night & nap training. Today we started a sticker chart and I really hope that helps since I'd love to only have 1 in diapers.

Adelyn is growing & changing every day. She loves to be cuddled and sang too but is starting to really enjoy her independance as well. She loves playing with her toys and even likes tummy time. However, her enjoyment of tummy time and being on her belly in general has led to a lack of rolling over. I try to show her what to do. Lily even lays on the ground and rolls around to show her. But she just happily lays there, laughing at her sister's antics. It's not all bad though, I'm in no hurry to have a mobile baby. She's such a happy baby. It's not hard to get a smile or laugh out of her, even for strangers. She's been a great sleeper up until recently. She's waking several times a night to eat. I was really hoping to exclusively breastfeed her for 6 months but I think she's telling me she needs more calories. So in the next week or so we'll start her on cereal.

Steve....oh Steve. I never knew I could love him so much until I seen the kind of father he is. Although Adelyn is hot & cold with him, Lily is his #1 fan. And he's crazy about both the girls. He loves doing anything with the family. We all look forward to family fun time on the weekends. He's recently got a promotion at work that we're all so proud of. There was a big learning curve to what he was doing but he seems to have really gotten the hang of things. His determination to provide for himself and this family never ceases to amaze me.

That is the long of the short of it for us! I look forward to sharing more about our lives & endeavors as the weeks pass!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

It's official!

Usually when you hear (or read in this case) "it's official", there's some big news that follow it.
"It's official...we're pregnant!"
"It's official....I got the job!"
"It's official...we're moving!"
And sometimes, bad news even follows it, "It's official....I was laid off".

The list goes on & on. This, is not that serious. Or even that big of a deal. But, it is official.

I suck at blogging.

I started this blog because I love to write. And sometimes I even feel like I have important things to say. Or at least something that people can relate to or learn from. But, I don't share this stuff as much as I'd like. I have ideas for blogs going back to last winter! But I can't seem to find the time to type this stuff out.

I plan on making the time. I hope to start writing once a week (probably on Mondays or Fridays since those are my days off and weekends are full of family fun time). Maybe, if I can keep up with that, I'll even do both days. Assuming I have enough to say that I feel people would want to read.

I hope that tomorrow will be the first of many "real" blogs. And maybe, just maybe, in a few months or year or whatever, I can announce "It's official....I DON'T suck at blogging!".

Stay tuned. Good things are ahead.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Adelyn's Birth Story

On March 12th, 2012 I was induced at 37 weeks. This induction was planned due to having pregnancy induced hypertension & borderline pre-eclampsia numbers. The iduction itself, as well as the process of induction did not come as a surprise as I was induced at 37.5 weeks with Lily.

A week prior to my induction was my last OB appointment. At that appointment I was 2-3cm dilated and 20% effaced. However, baby was still very high. My OB was certain when she dropped, I'd dilate quickly. And since my induction with Lily was so quick (about 6 hours from start to finish), we all assumed that I would have a similar experience again. I was hoping to beat my own personal best time of 1:11pm (the time Lily was born). So, operation get baby girl to drop went into full effect. I walked until I couldn't walk anymore....literally. I did Wii fit and played Just Dance for Wii. I had sex, I did squats & lunges. I sat "Indian Style" as much as possible. Anything to get this baby to drop and make her labor & delivery a resounding success.

So, when I checked in at 5:45am for the induction, I was confident that baby had dropped which means I should've been further along in dilation. And she had dropped!!!! But, I was only measuring 3.5cm at best. But, at least she was low. We were still on a good track. Pitocin was started at 7:37am. A few hours later, contractions were about 3 minutes apart and becoming more & more noticable. So, they decided to break my water. This really pushed things along with Lily, so we were confident that despite the fact I was still only 3.5 cm, we'd really see things take off. But they didn't. The contractions didn't even get unbearable right away like they did with Lily. We were approaching noon and I was starting to think maybe she wouldn't be here by 1:11. But, I refused to give up.

That is, until 1:11 came & went. My contractions were at least getting stronger. Finally, around 2pm, I decided that I couldn't bear the pain anymore. We called in anesthesia and I got an epidural. Let me tell you, after feeling like my pelvis was being ripped apart, the epidural was heaven. Although I still felt some pressure with the contractions, I was able to lay down & relax while enjoying the company of my family. A few minutes after my epidural was in place, my OB checked me again. I was at 5cm! Half way there!!!! At this rate, I was going to have my baby sometime in the next few days at least. *sigh* There were even pools going on facebook as to when our little girl would FINALLY make her appearance. Around 3:30, they checked me again. I was at 7! Apparently I only needed to be able to relax for my body to do it's thing. By 4 I was at 9 and by 4:10 I was pushing.

Eleven minutes later, after only a few pushes, our beautiful baby girl came into the world screaming her head off! She weighed in at 7lbs 5oz (1lb, 2oz less than her big sister) and was 18.5 inches long (2 inches shorter).

Without further adieu, it is our pleasure to introduce the newest member of our family, Miss Adelyn Rose

Just minutes old

Lily's first time meeting her baby sissy

We're all doing very well! Adelyn is eating & sleeping like a champ! She's already much more spunky than her older sister was at this age. I feel like this recovery is going much better than my recovery with Lily. I feel better all around. Steve was an awesome coach! Despite his napping early on. ;-) And Lily.....well, she's coming around. At first she wasn't too happy about having a baby sissy outside the womb, but she seems to be adjusting. She's now asking about baby sissy and wanting to hold/kiss her. So, I think we'll keep 'em both!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


There are a lot of women out there who will tell you how wonderful pregnancy is. They'll tell you all about the miracle of life and how wonderful it is to feel life growing & moving inside of you. These women are liars, dilusional, trying to perpetuate the human race.

I'm here to tell you the truth....PREGNANCY SUCKS. There's morning sickness, fatigue, heart burn, indigestion, waking up 100 times a night to pee, swelling, pain, headaches, certain ways you can & can't sleep, certain ways you can & can't have sex (assuming of course, you even want to have sex), weight gain, leaky boobs, insomnia, loss of control of your body and sometimes it's functions. It can be a rough 40 weeks, and that's just for a "normal" pregnancy.

Then you start tacking on the abnormal stuff: gestational diabetes (GD), pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH), pre-eclampsia (pre-e), HELLP, e-clampsia, pre-term labor (PTL), PUPPS, cholestatis, pubic symphysis dysfunction (PSD), the list of abbreviations goes on & on. And it all makes a sucky pregnancy even suckier.

I'm in the latter group of abnormally sucky pregnancies. I'm certain that my body doesn't want to get pregnant (I have PCOS) and then revolts once I force it to. With my first pregnancy I had bleeding and a "threatened miscarriage" in the first trimester. Second trimester was a  breeze. Then, I was diagnosed with PIH about 32-34 weeks into pregnancy. By 37 weeks I was diagnosed with pre-e and induced 2 days later. Induction, labor & delivery all went fairly well and I gave birth to an amazingly healthy 8lb 7oz little girl in just a few short hours! This pregnancy started off normally sucky and continued that way until 20 weeks when I was sent to the hospital for heart palpitations, an irregular heartbeat and high blood pressure. It was deemed my bodies poor reaction to the increased blood in my system. Thankfully, nothing came of it and eventually I stopped having "episodes" (what I called it when my heart would race, I'd start shaking, my BP would go up, etc). Then, at 32 weeks I felt crumby. It only got worse & worse. My blood pressure was on the rise. Over the course of a day it went from normal to 160s/100s (average is 120/70, my norm was 100s/60s). The next day I was diagnosed with PIH....again. And put on a medication called Labetelol....again. Since then I've been sent to the hospital once because my BP got so high. And I'm on modified bedrest. And I have almost daily headaches. And I have to go in to see my OB and have non-stress tests (NSTs) once a week. And we won't get into the poking, prodding & peeing into a jug that I have to do inbetween! In the mean time, I just hope that things remain stable. I hope that it doesn't turn into pre-e (my last pee in a jug session showed borderline #s, I just took another one yesterday and am waiting on the results). I pray to keep this baby cooking until at least 37 weeks, but 38 would be even better. I have to see a Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM aka high risk OB) doctor just in case.

So yea. Pregnancy sucks. But, I can't leave out the good parts. It *is* the miracle of life. It *is* amazing to feel your baby kick. roll, punch, stretch, get the hiccups and actually breathe. (I thought people were nuts when I first heard you could feel your baby "practice breathing", but it's true! You can!). It's amazing creating something out of the love you share with your partner. No one could ever describe the feeling of holding YOUR BABY for the 1st time. Looking in their eyes and knowing that you've loved them since they were only 2 pink lines. And knowing that they already know your touch, your voice, that you are their mother (or father, in case any dad's happen to read this).

So maybe pregnancy isn't all bad. Maybe it isn't as sucky as I made it out to seem in the beginning. I mean, I'm doing it for a SECOND TIME. Some women, even the ones who don't see it as all unicorns & flower filled meadows, do it many more times than that! Maybe it's kind of, sort of an incredible experience that we as females are blessed to go through.....even if we don't like every single part of it.

Disclaimer: I know there are millions of women out there who battle infertility or have gone through miscarriages. I know that some people would give anything to feel morning sickness, exhaustion, and even have the fears of PIH, Pre-e, GD and all the other abbreviations I've mentioned and not mentioned. This post is meant mostly in jest and as a way to vent my current frustrations & even fears and is not meant to alienate any of the aforementioned women. As I mentioned, I've had to go through fertililty treatments and my heart goes out to anyone else who has.